somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Terrible idea I love it
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
