theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
is this the sara with the beer cane?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
