i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize