After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize