It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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