turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
