its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I enjoy the company of your penis
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
