I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
