It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
