Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
