hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
you made out with another girl for some wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
its liver damage thursday
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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