he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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