I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize