Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
