Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
