Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
