She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
