i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
