can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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