True but thats because hes a fetus.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
