Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
