Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize