glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
