THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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