Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize