I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
