sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
