This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
