I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
This is not my ceiling
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
They have beer where we have blood.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
