White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
