just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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