so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
thus making me awesome and them whores
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
