it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
