I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
