i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
