The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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