i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
