TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
