Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
