Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
