she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
