I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
