I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I had to cum in my sink.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
