i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
