is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
