yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
handjob tips. give me some.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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