they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
