so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
