operation have a gay friend backfired
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
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it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
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My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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