We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
