wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
