Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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