need another drink. this is the easiest way
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
there is glitter all over my balls
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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