You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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