Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
