My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
