his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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