if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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