yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
