Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
