I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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