Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
as a side note pls kill me
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