Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
