Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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